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fairyprincessqueen
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Thursday, April 17, 2008

the fall

went for the climb, looked out on the world. felt great, had it all. literally felt on top of the world. the view was beautiful, it was amazing and nothing could bring me down.
but now i'm preparing for the fall. 2 days and it will begin.
its not my world and i don't feel like i'm going to "die". i know things will be alright in the end. it always will be. its just really going to suck at first. really really suck. my heart will hurt. my mind will be a mess. i'll feel all scrambled inside, my insides will feel hollow and empty. i won't be sure what to do with myself. i'll want everything, when i can't have anything.
but that's ok.
because the human body always finds a way back. it always does. and i will find my way back ... with time. i don't doubt my ability to be alright. i know after a while i'll feel fine. i'm just not ready for the impact yet. but i suppose i can't "be afraid of the impact if the fall was worth it". right?

8:01 AM - 37 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Monday, May 28, 2007

so, ever since facebook & university came along, i have neglected xanga.
poor poor xanga.
there are always some days when i feel like recapping my day so i can red up on it later on ... but then you can't do that on facebook! (and i always forget that xanga exists).
shame shame ... =(
well ... winnie has a job! wheee. not that anybody reads this anymore ... but i just want to brag about my job-ful-ness SOMEwhere =)

9:45 AM - 24 views - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Sunday, April 01, 2007

	CONFUSING ...
	4:16 PM - 5 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

wow ... long time no blog
i had to vent somewhere though ...

i am the biggest dumbass to have ever walked this earth
i lost my camera
when i realized i didn't have it on me ... did i look or it? NO! i just figured i'd leave and get it the next day ... SMART move ... its not there! i'm never going to get my camera back.
i must first tell my parents ... then ... cry when i have to buy a new one (my camera is my baby ... i CAN'T not have a camera ... i just can't live without it ... its everything to meeeeeeee =( bah i'm an idiot)

1:10 AM - 4 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

sooooo many thoughts flowing through my mind i don't even know where to begin ...
i've told pretty much everybody i know this ... but since i'm still at Queens and more than half the floor is gone (i think theres about 10ish people left ... at most ...) it feels as though ... the party is ending and i'm the last one here to just ... sit and be lonely. it sucks ... majorly. y'know once everybody has left? your friends are gone, theres just a few of you left and you get this feeling of severe emptiness? that is exactly how it feels right now ... severe emptiness. and i guess my musical choices aren't helping either (mellow music ...)
i miss the laughs, the running into people's rooms randomly for chats ... having people there just a second away. this place is so dead now.
i mean, i do love having my alone time, of course i do. who doesn't? but once you've gotten used to having people around all the time, it feels weird that theres nobody. well, its not that there is NOBODY just ... a lot less. this should all mean that i would have more time to study, but no ... its far too quiet for studying. i've been watching the o.c. and random movies then i get into the episodes and forget what i'm trying to do, that is study.
i want to get away from this place so badly.
its killing me inside.
i'm withering away ... my spirit is dying.
LET ME LEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!
with each progressive day i become more and more dead and ... just ... goodness i don't even know what word can describe the state i am in ...

must ... fight off weird feelings ... and ... study ... super hard for ... thursday
then i'll be home ... and everything will be ok
i'll be with my family, i can and spend time with all the people i care about ...
elmkmaewm;am;3kr3mf;lkma! COME OOOOOOOOOON THURSDAY!!

7:26 PM - 2 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

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